Instant Digital Download . £5 . By Katarina, Psychosexual Therapist
Finally, the words to start the
conversation you've been putting off
A practical conversation guide for couples navigating a desire gap,
without it turning into an argument.
1 in 3
Couples experience a significant desire discrepancy
Most
Never talk about it with
anyone
It
Doesn't mean you're incompatible
Instant access. No subscription.
Finally, the words to start the conversation you've been putting off
A practical guide for couples who want to talk about intimacy without blame, pressure, or another argument.
The Conversation Guide
£12
Learn how to talk about desire in a way that brings you closer rather than pushing you apart.
✓ Conversation starters you can use today
✓ Word-for-word scripts for the hardest moments
✓ Guided exercises for both partners
✓ Instant download, readable on any device
The Problem
You know something needs to change, you just don't know how to say it
Most couples with a desire gap don't lack love, they lack language. Conversations about intimacy get avoided, cut short, or leave both partners feeling misunderstood.
It's not because you're incompatible. Nobody ever taught you how to have this conversation well.
Avoidance becomes the norm
The longer the topic goes unaddressed, the more difficult it becomes to raise. Eventually, even mentioning it can feel risky.
Both partners feel alone
The higher-desire partner feels rejected. The lower-desire partner feels guilty. Both feel misunderstood, even in the same relationship.
You keep having the same conversation
You have the same conversation again and again, but never seem to get anywhere.
Connection slowly erodes
The Desire Gap doesn't stay in the bedroom. Over time it affects affection, humour, touch, and the sense of being on the same team.
What's Inside
Your Conversation Guide
Everything you need to start talking about the Desire Gap without blame, pressure or another painful conversation.
Conversation Starters
Exactly how to start the conversation, with gentle prompts that help both partners feel safe, heard and less defensive.
Scripts for Hard Moments
Word-for-word scripts for the moments couples find hardest to navigate: rejection, avoidance and unmet need.
Talking Together
Simple exercises that help you talk about intimacy more openly, without it feeling like homework.
Understanding Each Other
A framework to help you both see what's happening, so you can stop having the wrong conversation.
What Couples Say
What My Clients Say
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
“I’d spent years thinking my partner didn't find me attractive anymore. Understanding the responsive and spontaneous types changed how I see things now. We'd been having the wrong conversation the whole time."
- Higher-desire partner
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
"I'd spent so long feeling like something was wrong with me. Finding out my desire hadn't disappeared, it just needed the right conditions, finally made sense. For the first time I understood myself.”
- Lower-desire partner
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
"We'd been going in circles for three years. We still loved each other, but we stopped trying. This gave us a language for something we'd never been able to talk about. We're close again in a way we'd forgotten was possible."
- Couple
Who It's For
This guide is for you if…
You and your partner are at different places with desire and don't know how to talk about it
Past conversations have ended in arguments, tears, or silence
You're the Higher Desire partner and feel rejected, but don't want to pressure anyone
You're the Lower Desire partner and feel guilty, but don't know how to explain what's happening
You still care deeply about each other, but neither of you knows how to move the conversation forward.
Your Guide
Created by Katarina
I'm a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist with over 15 years of experience helping couples talk about intimacy, desire, and the conversations that often feel impossible to have.
Every script and exercise in this guide comes directly from what has worked, in real sessions, with real couples, including many who arrived believing their relationship was beyond repair.
Most couples don't need more advice. They need a safer way to talk about what's already happening.
Founder of The Desire Gap, created to help couples have the conversation most people never learn how to start.
Creator of resources shaped by hundreds of couples I've worked with in my practice.
Common Questions
Before you decide
Do both partners need to read it?
Yes, ideally. This guide is written for both of you, with sections and scripts for each partner, plus exercises you do together. It works best when you're both reading from the same page, literally.
We've tried talking about this before and it didn't help. Why would this be different?
Most failed attempts happen because neither person has the words yet, so the conversation turns into blame or shutdown before anything useful gets said. This guide gives you word-for-word scripts for the three hardest conversations, plus the structure that keeps them from going sideways. You're not improvising this time.
How long does it take?
It's a short, focused guide, 13 pages, designed to be worked through together rather than read in one sitting. Some couples go through it in an evening, others take it a section at a time over a few weeks.
What format is it? How do I get it?
It's a PDF, delivered to your inbox within minutes of purchase. Read it on your phone, tablet, or laptop, or print it and work through a paper copy together.
What if we're not ready to sit down together yet?
That's fine, and common. Part One is designed for you to read alone first. It walks you through exactly how to bring your partner in, with no pressure and no speech required.
What if it doesn't help?
Every couple is different, and no guide can solve every situation. If you work through it and still feel stuck, email [email protected] and we'll do our best to point you towards the right support.
You don't need more time, you need a way in
The Conversation Guide gives you the words most couples were never taught, so you can stop avoiding the conversation and start understanding each other.
Mind The Gap
© 2026 The Desire Gap . desire-gap.com
By Katarina, Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist